BIG FAT News!

     So I know I've been slacking on my 30 Day Blogging Challenge here, but the next subject has been kind of touchy for me. I'll get to it when I can bring myself to it, I promise.

     But for now let's talk about something near and dear to my heart: body shaming.

     I haven't mentioned it before, but I think it's time I come out.

     Everyone, I'm fat.

     Yeah, I know, big shocker right? But here's what I've discovered: being fat is not a bad thing. In fact, I've come to love my big beautiful body. A year ago, I was in a completely different state of mind. I didn't even consider myself bullied - I thought it was normal to think fat people were unattractive, lazy, and useless. Hell, I thought of myself that way!

     But people have been speaking up, and I've been listening. One of those voices is now one of my all-time favorite bloggers:

Click the image to be directed to the Militant Baker's blog.

   

     Right now she is hosting a Anti Size Discrimination campaign. Drop everything you're doing and check it out.

     So go and submit your own poster and share it on the Militant Baker's Facebook page now. She'll include your submission in an album and it'll be there for all of the Internet to see. Stand up for your beautiful body, ladies and gentlemen and transgenders, big and small! No body is ugly! Let your voice be heard!

     Here are some posters to motivate you:

     

The Militant Baker

Classy Dame - Plus Size Model

Chipmunk Cheeky

Chipmunk Cheeky

Things That Make Me Happiest Today

     30 Day Blog Challenge, day 5 - what are the 5 things that make you happiest right now?

Class of 2012!

     My education. Well, this is the first thing that came to mind because I just registered for spring semester classes. Have to admit, I'm a bit worried. Some of my classes seem tough. But I have to remember that there was once a time that women obtaining an education was much more difficult than it is now. It's expensive and sometimes I wonder if it's worth the stress, but I count my blessings when it comes down to the fact that I do enjoy learning, and I come from a family who always pushed me to do my best.

     My mom. Cliche, I know. But my mom has helped me get through so much, especially recently. When it comes down to it, she really is my best friend.

     Music and my spiritual relationship with God. These go hand-in-hand because musical worship is my deepest connection with God. Prayer is hard for me; I feel like I never have anything to say because I know God already knows what's going on in my life and knows what I want and need. I didn't really start personal worship until I picked up the guitar, and I never seem to do it without it (unless, y'know, church hymns or singing in the car). I have a deeper connection in music than with prayer or meditation. My actual talent is limited, but the feeling I put in it is real.




     My mind. This is not to say that I'm ridiculously smart or a genius or anything (because I'm just freaking not, dangit.) However, my state of mind is constantly in overdrive. I always question, always research, always analyze, always worry, always imagine, and always create. It's pure chaos, and it's beautiful.  Some people would find this the opposite of happiness as it's never quiet or peaceful, but it's the very thing that defines who I am. My mind is filled with the wonder of a child first entering a world.

     My boyfriend. Other than my mom, TJ is my best friend. Our relationship is far from boring, while most of our date nights include staying in and watching Disney movies or playing video games. He's there for me when even the most faithful people can let me down at times. He's understanding, but also keeps me grounded. Best of all, he encourages my creativity and my goals.
And he has a cute butt.

   

What I Would Tell My 16 Year Old Self

     30 Day Blog Challenge, day 4 - list 5 things you would tell your sixteen-year-old self if you could.

     Fat is not a bad word. Before I elaborate on that, you should know you are not fat at this time. But as you do now, you will struggle with your weight. But don't worry. You will find beauty in yourself, and so will others. Looking back, you won't know why you hated the mirror so much, and you should never hate your own reflection. Now, when I say fat is not a bad word, I mean that "fat" is not the same thing as "lazy," "ugly," or "useless." You will be fat, but you will also be happy. I know you don't understand that now, but you will. And, for the love of God, please stop looking up magical "diets" that, in reality, only starve you or make you feel groggy. You'll know them by how suspiciously stupid they sound, and you should definitely go with that gut feeling.

     You will not be alone for the rest of your life. You are picky when it comes to boys. Don't change that about yourself. Never settle. You will find a great guy, he will respect your boundaries, and he'll be the type to see you in messy hair, pajamas, and no makeup and call you beautiful. And you won't believe how confident he makes you feel. At twenty, you will have been in a rock-solid relationship for two years, and you'll still be going strong. I won't spoil it for you by telling you who he is (and you won't expect it!), but look forward to it and enjoy your life now. Learn to love yourself, and focus on your family and friends, and school. Sure, sometimes you'll be alone on Saturday night (not really, you'll be swooning over Ron Weasley between pages, which is totally normal, I promise), but taking it slow and not forcing yourself into a relationship will pay off in the end.

     Know that your dad is trying. I know it's hard. I've been there. But one day you'll realize that your dad really was trying his hardest, and it will pay off; he will change. Instead of hating his addiction, take the time to understand how addiction works. It will be difficult, but believe that there is no one struggling more than he is. There will be people who give up on him, both family and friends, but you should not be one of these people. Tell him you love him and you're proud of him daily.

     Math is cool. No, I'm completely serious. Take the time to actually listen in class and take note, and you'll find that math was really not so bad. In fact, it's fun. You have a talent here, don't ignore it. Few can say they actually enjoy math. You are only letting yourself struggle because you don't want to try.

     Always write and show it off. Don't let your fear get in the way of showing off what you write and, most importantly, don't let your fear keep you from writing or starting a story. I know that blank page is scary, and it won't get easier. Every blank page will be a bigger and stronger beast, but you can defeat it. You see life through the eyes of a child, and you are still scared of the "big people" writing your ideas off as silly. Embrace your imagination and write.

Ja Makin' My Ankle Hurt

     30 Day Blog Challenge, day 3 - what is the greatest amount of physical pain you have ever endured?

     That's a tough question.

     I mean, I've never broken a bone or anything. I've gotten a foot tattoo, but that wasn't nearly as painful as people made it out to be. I have an idea in mind for the greatest amount of physical pain I've endured was, but it's sort of... embarrassing. And what you should know about that is that I hate crying in public. I never forgive myself for it, especially if I cry like a little kid, and that totally happened to me.

     So this is the time I cried like a big fat baby.

     I was in Jamaica. Now that's a good way to start a story. It was the summer of 2010 and not a day goes by that I miss that place. Anyway, we were there on a mission trip, just me and a small group of people. 

     On our last day, we decided to spend the time to relax and have fun before our departure. On the plan for that day, we took a trip to Dunn's River Falls. 

   

     Basically, you climb up the falls. Yikes. But I was a little more adventurous those couple of years ago. Long story short, there was this small waterfall that slid into a small pool. Sounds safe, right? Nope. Anyhow, I was a bit cautious, so I let two others go ahead of me. They slid of the slippery rock into the small pool and popped out of the water safe and sound.

     But there was a trick to it. Once sliding off, you had to go into a cannonball, or you'd probably break your freaking foot.

     Don't think the end of this story is so typical. To this day, I swear I went into the dang cannonball. But lo, I popped out of the pool, crying like a newborn baby. 

     You don't understand. I was legit crying. Like, hyperventilating. I swore my ankle was broken. But nope, it was just sprained. Yeah, I'm a weakling.

     Basically, I couldn't do anything for the remainder of the trip, which was practically over anyhow. 

     My foot was swollen and bruised for about two months. Leaving the airport, I had to be put in a wheelchair, despite the fact that I didn't want to (though I was slowing everyone down; sorry guys). Embarrassing, right? But I laughed it off because I'm cool. Whatevs.

   

3 Legitimate Fears

     30 Day Blog Challenge, day 2 - name 3 legitimate fears that you have and describe how they became fears.

     Running out of time. And by that I do not mean death, though I suppose that's part of it. I'm not afraid of the act of dying or how I'll die as much as I'm afraid of when I die. But it's not even entirely about death. It could be something as simple as not having enough time to study for a test, or making time for my writing and paintings and guitar and sign language... But sometimes I think it goes beyond stress. It builds up so much, I panic. I have so many goals for my life, but I spend more time worrying about whether or not I will have time to complete them rather than actually just getting them done. It seems so easy to accomplish; it could even just be something like a change of perspective. But it's a nagging fear; one that I can't seem to shake off.

     Being a mother. I've been told this is a common fear for young women, even before they're pregnant. Of course I plan on being married first, but even then I'm not sure I'd be ready to be a parent. People tell me I'd be a good mother, but I worry about making the slightest mistake. Plus, it's exhausting. As fun as it can be, babysitting and being a nanny alone is takes out a lot of energy. I'm not worried about being selfless; I can do that. I'd gladly spend all my time and energy on someone else. But the more tired I get, the more short-tempered and impatient I get. I suppose that's normal. But I guess I'm expecting Carol Brady from myself.

     Anything with a stinger. Wasps. Bees. Yellow jackets. Scorpions. God slapped a needle on it and called that good? Not in my book. I cower from them. So much to the point that I can't even bring myself to get close enough to kill them unless I absolutely have to. Things is, I'm not afraid of critters or rodents, and I'm not afraid of needles. So I really don't know why I'm so afraid.

Ten Random Facts About Me

 

     30 Day Blog Challenge, day 1 - list 10 random facts about yourself.

     So, how does this work, exactly? 

     Do I just jump right into it? 

     Okay, here we go. 10 random facts about me:

    I'm a pescetarian, which means the only meat I eat is fish.

    I'd love to be a published fiction writer, but I've kept every outline, short story, and start of a novel in secret from most people for fear that none of it is any good.

    I count my steps when I walk up or down stairs. Does anybody else do this, or is it just me? Maybe I just love numbers? (Bonus fact: I LOVE math!)

    I've played guitar for several years, but am just now learning to read music.

    I'd pick a stage performance over a film any day. And I LOVE musicals! I'm one of those people.

    My favorite show is Doctor Who. Yep, also one of those super fantastic people.   

    I've played guitar for several years, but am just now learning to read music.

    I hate football. Definitely the minority in the south. Bah. Go Dawgs.

     I play dress-up games online... a lot. Like probably more than a twenty-year-old should. *shrug*

    My cat once went missing, and my dog barked him home for four days. And yes, he made it home. They love each other, even if they can't admit it. ;)

30 Day Blog Challenge!

     I. AM. ALIIIVE!!!

    But really is it any surprise that I have yet again disappeared from the blogging scene? I am a new blogger afterall. ;)

     So I decided I'd make myself a goal. And considering I am still a bit of a stranger, I figured the 30 Day Blog Challenge would be a great way for me to not only get in the habit of blogging everyday (or most days), but it would also be a great way for me to become a... not stranger. So here it is. I'll have this posted on my About Me page as well.

     Oh, and Happy Birthday, Marine Corps! Thank you for your service. :)

     (01) List 10 random facts about yourself.
     (02) Name 3 legitimate fears that you have and describe how they became fears.
     (03) What is the greatest amount of physical pain you have ever endured?
     (04) List 5 things you would tell your sixteen-year-old self if you could.
     (05) What are the 5 things that make you happiest right now?
     (06) What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
     (07) What is your dream job and why?
     (08) What are the 3 passions you have?
     (09) What defines you?
     (10) Describe your most embarrassing moment.
     (11) Describe a few of your pet peeves.
     (12) Describe a typical day in your life.
     (13) Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
     (14) Describe 5 strengths you have.
     (15) If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
     (16) What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
     (17) What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
     (18) What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
     (19) If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
     (20) Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
     (21) If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
     (22) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
     (23) List your top 3 hobbies and why you love them.
     (24) Describe your first job.
     (25) If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be with, and what would you eat?
     (26) What popular notion do you think the world has wrong?
     (27) What is your favorite part of your body and why?
     (28) What is your favorite love language?
     (29) What were your 3 favorite toys/games as a child?
     (30) List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for.